Aug 01, 2015
What are you doing on this trip?
Performing my new stand-up show, I Don’t Want Your Honest Feedback. I think the title speaks volumes already.
What’s the secret to a stress-free journey?
Preparation. In May, the night before we were to travel overseas, I noticed that my children’s passports were out of date. Turn up the heaters, gang, we’re holidaying at home.
How far out from a trip do you start packing?
I’m completely in love with my clothes so I can be gathering favourites for weeks.
What’s your approach to packing?
Try it all on if you haven’t worn it in a while. The dryer can be terrible on the waistline.
Is there a method to your packing?
I put the clothes into outfit piles. The full outfits get a run. The extra things go in a drawer to forget about for another year.
Roll or fold?
Fold in a big bag and roll in a smaller one. That way you don’t go over weight. It also means there’s room in the big bag in case you get involved in the shops.
What do you never leave home without?
My house keys… essential for getting back in when you return home.
Do you have a secret to travelling light?
I choose and pack an outfit for each event/day and pack no more than absolutely required. It limits my choices but I don’t mind. I tend to re-wear my faves anyway. I also try to avoid carbs the day before.
Getting to the airport – early or late?
I always cut it fine when I have carry-on. When you have to check in a grown-up bag, sadly you have to arrive at a grown-up time.
What do you wear on the plane?
I usually wear the orange juice. I have worn those little milks, too. It’s why I always wear black; it doesn’t show spills and everything matches. Layers are also handy as the plane gets a bit chilly when you least expect it.
Aisle or window?
Always a window. I love to crawl over sleeping people to get to the bathroom.
Are you a chatty seat buddy?
Only if the person next to me is way too handsome to remain silent.
How do you pass the time on a long flight?
See above. I also like to give the hairy eyeball to losers who don’t watch the safety demonstrations. They think it makes them look like they fly a lot but it just makes them look rude. Then I watch movies until my eyes hurt and my neck gets sore from the accidental sleepy head-drop.
Can you sleep on the plane?
Yes. It is the only place I get to legitimately dribble in public.
Do you have a secret to avoiding jet lag?
What’s the last book you read on a plane?
Anthony Kiedis’s Scar Tissue. I thought it might make me look interesting.
What’s the last movie you watched?
The Water Diviner. Russell Crowe is completely delicious in it. ￼