Mar 06, 2018
Seated next to the Aussie comedian on a flight? Beware – you just might star in one of his stand-up routines.
When you fly, is it mostly for work or with your family?
For work. We do have a lot of family holidays, though. My eight-year-old son was going through his atlas recently and ticking off all the countries he’s been to and it was around a dozen. I didn’t go overseas until I was 27.
Where did you go?
To England to do some stand-up comedy. It was at the end of November so I landed in a very miserable, cold London. Getting off [the plane] was like, “Oh God, where have I come to?”
Now that you’re a regular flyer, do you have any pre-flight routines?
I make a real effort to not check in any luggage. If I’m travelling alone, I pack very late. But if we’re on a family trip, my wife [Holly Ife] puts out the suitcase what feels like a fortnight before we leave.
What makes it into your carry-on?
Hopefully enough underwear to get me through. I also put in exercise gear and feel guilty when I unpack and haven’t used it. And headphones. I have about five or six pairs because I’m constantly losing them or the chargers – I’ve kept a number of airport shops in business.
How else do you entertain yourself in the air?
I’ve gotten into diary writing. Life is full of comic moments but you forget most of them. So to write a diary every day on my laptop helps me remember the funny experiences. Often, I’m writing about the person sitting beside me, hoping they don’t look over my shoulder. There are characters on flights all the time.
So should the person sitting next to you keep an eye on what you’re typing?
Be paranoid but treat it as an honour.
What tips do you have for a good flight?
Don’t start conversations with people next to you until the plane is about to land. If you start when it takes off, it can get awkward pretty quickly. And I try not to eat every single meal they bring me. It’s so easy to overeat; if you go to the Qantas Club lounge beforehand, it’s hard to pass up the buffet.
What appeals to you about travel?
The world is such a bloody interesting place so you never regret seeing something new.
Is there a flight that sticks in your mind as the best?
The first time I had a flat bed. I tell everyone that at some point in your life, you need to try it. Put it on your credit card, just do whatever you have to. ￼